


Living Beneath the Shadow

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Drama, First Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-03-23 13:24:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3770024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The conversation between Beleg and Turin prior to Beleg's returning to Doriath. Told from Beleg's POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living Beneath the Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

The morning passed in a grim silence. Turin seemed to want to avoid me, could not meet my gaze. He had never been one for words, had always guarded his tongue more carefully than others, but towards me he had been different. Now he ignored me.

As the day wore on toward noon, I approached him. "I admit I looked for another reaction to my words," I said.

He appraised me with his steel-grey eyes. "I will not return with you to Doriath, Beleg," he replied. "I have a duty here now."

"You have a duty to Thingol, also," I said. "Not only as his fosterson, but as a march-warden of the realm. You cannot lightly ignore his pardoning your deeds. That would show pride, if nothing else."

"I should give pardon, not receive it," Turin said sharply. "What occurred was not on account of me. I thought you understood that…unless, of course, you are against me, as well?"

"I will stand by you, Turin," I said gently. "You know that. But it may be my part to lead you in the correct path, as friends must do from time to time."

He scowled. "This is the path I chose."

"But it is not the right path. Your place…"

He interrupted me abruptly. "My place? You and Thingol are both alike! My place as march-warden, sitting on the borders of a hidden kingdom, doing nothing while my kinsmen in the North are falling to the evils of the Black Hand? My place as a coward and craven, while others fight a losing battle against the oncoming storm? Thingol does not care for the troubles of the outside world!"

I drew in my breath sharply, and I saw in his expression as he finished that he was instantly ashamed.

"You are mistaken, Turin," I said. "Thingol bides his time wisely. Short would our campaign against Morgoth be, if we made trial of our strength too soon. You are young yet, full of confidence. But I have seen the might of Morgoth. It will not be overthrown easily."

"Then all the more reason to wage a war upon him," Turin said.

I shook my head. "We must watch and wait, and build up our strength. That would be wisest."

"And if we wait too long? If the North falls while we ‘bide our time,' as you say?" Turin was struggling to mask the bitterness in his voice.

"I was at the Nirnaeth, Turin," I said. "We thought then that we alone could win over the might of the Black Lord, but it was not so. He is too powerful, even for the combined strength of the Eldar and the Edain. Never again should there be another disaster such as the Nirnaeth, yet that is what will befall if we make trial of our feeble strength too soon."

"It is different for you," Turin said, so softly I could scarcely hear him. "You are of the Eldar. A century for you would matter as little as a moment to one of the Edain. I do not have so much time."

"Time? Time for what? What is it that drives you so?"

"Vengeance," he said, looking me in the eye. "Vengeance for the cares and torments of my family. I will not rest until I learn what has become of my mother and sister…and until I have repaid Morgoth for the sorrow he has brought upon them."

"What could one man do against the might of a Vala?" I demanded, my patience swiftly running out.

"More than he could do as a march-warden, sitting idly in Doriath while his life-years are drawn from him."

"I would rather you remain in Doriath, waiting for the right moment to strike, than to throw your life away uselessly and accomplish nothing."

Turin laughed suddenly. "Nothing, Beleg?" He said. "Nothing? I am a leader now, with a host under my care, and I do not forget I am the heir of the land of Dor-Lomin, nor can you make me. Have I accomplished nothing?"

"Be wary of your pride," I said. "It will be your downfall in the end, if you heed it not."

"Do not speak to me of pride," Turin said, with more force than I expected of him. "You know nothing of it. The pride of the Eldar withered at the Nirnaeth. But for the Edain, there is still hope, if we will fight!"

"You do not understand, Turin," I returned sharply. "You live under a curse, under the shadow of Morgoth! If you reveal yourself to him, he will sweep you and the memory of your house away forever! Return to Doriath, and wait a little while. Let the Eldar and the Edain lick their wounds and regain what was lost."

Turin's fists were clenched in anger. "I have shaken that shadow," he said icily. "Do not bring it upon me again."

I lowered my eyes. "I am sorry," I said.

He regarded me for a moment, indecisive. Finally, he shook his head.

"No," he said. "It is I who am sorry."

We said nothing for a moment, each maintaining an uncomfortable silence. It was the first time we had ever argued before, that I could recall.

Turin stirred, at last. "Stay with me, Beleg," said he. "I would have you beside me."

For a fleeting moment only, I wavered. "I would desire that greatly, indeed," I said. "But if I stayed beside you, love would lead me, not wisdom. I will return to Doriath."

He looked at me, long and slowly, as if somehow judging me in his mind. Then he nodded. "I understand," he said.

"Is it farewell, then, son of Hurin? You refuse Thingol‘s tidings at the last?" I asked.

He did not reply at once, but stood, looking towards the west. Then he said, "Often of late I have looked towards Amon Rudh. If you seek me again, look for me there. Else, this is our last parting."

I glanced away for a moment, and sighed. "Yet perhaps, in a little while, as the Eldar say, we may meet again," I said, laying a hand upon his shoulder. "Nai elen thilen uilo am ven lin."*

He smiled. "Thank you," he said softly.

I turned and, without looking back, walked slowly away down the hill towards Doriath.

*******

**Footnote:**  
*May a star shine always upon your path.


End file.
